parenting
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Talk It Out: 5 Ways to Really Communicate & Not Argue With Loved Ones! by Dr. Sarah Allen
Relationships
March 13, 2017
Need to have a talk with a loved one? Here are five tips that help when you are having a difficult conversation. And hopefully, the discussion will lead to problem-solving rather than an argument.
- Stay focused on understanding and resolving the present problem and your feelings about it.
- When adrenaline kicks in during a emotional discussion or argument, take a breath or a short time-out to gather your thoughts.
- Ask yourself what your goal is. Do you just want your opinion to be heard or is there a particular outcome you want to happen?
- Begin statements with “I” and make them about yourself and your feelings. It is less likely to make the other person defensive.
- Try to see the other person’s point of view and talk to them in a non-argumentative way. This way, you are more likely to get that response back from them.
Good luck!
But more realistically, my husband and I are pretty normal in regards to the fact we have disagreements. And I'll be honest, some of our disagreements are not the "let's sit down and discuss this in a quiet, calm manner" either. Not that we are yelling, but things have been known to get heated. I might also add, they have taken place when our 2 kids are within earshot. But the one thing we never do is attack the others character, as in name calling or put downs. We keep it about the subject and sometimes end up laughing. (Not always!)
Interestingly though, I was told by someone once parents should never have any disagreements in front of children, really? I think the fact we have been told by our kid's school principal, teachers and friend's parents our kids don't resort to name calling if someone disagrees with them is proof it may actually be a good thing!